Safety Bank (Safety Dance)

Save the Bank

Michael Ashley Schulman
3 min readMar 25, 2023

March 25, 2023 —

I rewrote some lyrics and am calling my new parody song

“The Safety Bank” by Men Without Account

[Set to the music of The Safety Dance by Men Without Hats, from 1982]

Please sing along

Safety Bank (arctic night, swirl, and miami vice) — Graphics by

Ssss, aaaa, ffff, eeee, tttt, yyyy

Safety! Bank!

We can bank if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
’Cause your friends don’t bank
And if they don’t bank
Powell, they’re no friends of mine

Say, we can route FDIC
A place where they will never find
And we can act like we come
From out of this world
Leave the real one far behind

And we can bank

We can clear when we want to
Hedged swaps are my ally
Bank runs aren’t very neat
We stampede with our feet
And surprise ’em with Yellen’s cry

Say, we withdraw if we want to
If we don’t, nobody will
And you can wire transfer totally removed
And I can act like an imbecile

And say, we can bank, we can bank
BTFP for control
Save the bank, with bridge bank
They’re doing it from alp to pole
We can bank, we can bank
Everybody look at the Fed
We CD, we bridge bank
Money markets taking the chance
Safety bank
Oh well, credit transfer
Ah yes, let’s save the bank

We can bank if we want to
We’ve got the liquidity
As long as we abuse it, never gonna lose it
Everything’ll work out right

I say, we can ABA wire
We can leave Gruenberg behind
Because your friends don’t bank
And if they don’t bank
Well, they’re no friends of thee

I say, we can bank, save the bank
Everything’s out of control
We can bank, ACH
We’re doing it from hike to hike
We can bank, safety bank
Everybody look at the rates
We can bank, we can bank
Insufficient funds take the chance

Oh well, the safety bank
Ah yes, the AT1
Oh well, the safety bank
Oh well, the CoCo debt
Oh yes, it’s safe to bank
Oh, the ATM, yeah
Well, let’s save the bank
It’s the ECB
Well, let’s save the bank
Well, it’s the BOE
Oh, let’s save the bank
Oh, it’s the SNB

Pop goes the world

Safety Bank (miami vice) — Graphics by

Disclosure: The opinions expressed are those of Running Point Capital Advisors, LLC ( Running Point) and are subject to change without notice. The opinions referenced are as of the date of publication, may be modified due to changes in the market or economic conditions, and may not necessarily come to pass. Past performance is not indicative of future results. Forward-looking statements cannot be guaranteed. Running Point is an investment adviser registered with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission. Registration does not imply a certain level of skill or training. More information about Running Point’s investment advisory services and fees can be found in its Form ADV Part 2, which is available upon request. RP-23-26



Michael Ashley Schulman

Avid traveler and art fan, also Partner & Chief Investment Officer @Running Point Capital, a multifamily office and ultra high-net-worth money-management firm